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Written in third person:  It all started in a public education setting: college. He sat next to a young naive girl, asked for her name, who she was and so forth. A typical American encounter, by questions only to find out they were of the same religion, ethnicity, and culture. What a coincidence? one would think, or from a fairy tale girl’s perspective: potential life partner? He started off being nice, sweet, and all that one can describe a stranger with motives being. Phone numbers were exchanged, but for the purpose of studying and keeping up with the course through group work, of course. Something her father strictly forbid her of doing, to study with the opposite gender. The girl thought nothing of it, why, they were talking only for the purposes of school and nothing more… at the moment. Later, after a short time passed (no more than a day) it turned into something much more serious. He decided to ask the girl out. Hesitant, she told him she did not date, but if they were to talk of such matter it would be for getting to know each other for the purpose of marriage in the future. Of course, the boy worked his charm and told her that he only wants to get to know her too, and tells her that he already sees her as his wife. Days, weeks, months, and a year went by of countless talks, texts, and in person hangouts. Whether it would be at the school, library, cafeteria, mall, parks, etc. He always made time for her, and spoke to her with such charm and wit. She fell in love with him after all that he showed her around, and the spent time and effort made it enjoyable for the both of them as they had fun going to places and seeing places together. He would always remind her of how nice it would be to be married to each other, how nice it would be to have both families together. The talk of family by him really made the girl fall more in love with. The girl was very family oriented so this made her happy to hear. As time passed, he started to get more physical. Started off with a kiss on the lips, and when she fought back against the kiss he would only remind her that, “You are mine, and will always be mine. Can I can a kiss from my future wife?” She believed in his words, and inclined to it. A kiss led to an inappropriate touch, which further transgressed to even more ZINA. She felt guilt, and was scared at the thought of getting caught by her parents, and friends. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but at the same time did not want to upset this boy who promised her marriage, and more. She would counter her thoughts with, “it is okay, we will get married in the future anyway”.   In this way she relieved herself of the constant guilt, and continued to do anything that would make the boy happy. He also got a feeling that she was not feeling as comfortable, and to overcome this he bought her a promise ring. An act to prove that he truly promised to be with her for the rest of their lives. By this ring, the girl of course, got only another reason to be with him and believe in his words. Time passed, and the boy was acting suspicious, ruder, and would give her a lack of respect. Every time she would confront him about his changed ways, he would only blame her for it. This new side of him came out before her eyes. She was not happy with him, and did not want to leave him for what they had been through. Her constant question: Who else would want to marry her after she had been kissed, touched, and used inappropriately?  The worse to imagine for her came, as she secretively went through his private messages only to reveal that he was engaged to another girl from their homeland. The only excuse he came up with was that it was just bluff and that he really was not engaged. Constant fights, and suspicion only increased. He finally came forth to tell her that his parents forced him into this engagement since he was a little kid. Lies after lies just followed. Luckily, the girl with a true, and honest heart did not fight, or take revenge. She bottled up her emotions, crying frequently at the thought of sins, and zina, not because of a loss of the lying boy. She finally turned to Islam, and Allah. With the help of the internet, and social media she began to read and research the process of repentance. Verily with hardship comes ease. Through her family she met the man of her dreams, however could not reveal to him her past sins and zina. Slowly but surely her new husband found out. Ruining a God written halal relationship with a haram relationship in the past. However, this man was able to move forward, as hard as it was, and accepted her. He saw true love, and a pure heart with good intentions. The moral of the story is that, unless a boy tells his parents, or confronts the girl’s parents for her hand in marriage, do not move forward with this so called “relationship”. Unfortunately, many girls fall for lust, the promised words, and the thought that they have encountered love before marriage. Unless it is not done the Islamic way, it is not worth the time, effort, dignity, and respect. She is now a practicing Muslim, praying five times a day, fasts during the month of Ramadan, with her every dua she repents to Allah. She will forever repent in her every prayer and every day for the rest of her life. Zina should not be taken lightly, it comes with harsh punishment in this dunya and on the day of Judgement. No matter how hard it may be, no matter how honest a boy may be to you, unless it is the Islamic way, leave it. Sincere repentance is needed. There is hope, as long as you put your trust in Allah, and vow to proceed in life with good intentions, and take part in good deeds. I truly hope this helps any girl out there who is going through a haram relationship, or a girl who has come out from a haram relationship, or the girl who has gone through this exact experience. Please, leave the haram relationship. Allah says in the Qur’an: “Say: ‘O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.'” (Az-Zumar: 53) “Allah accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will Allah turn in mercy: For Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.” (An-Nisa’: 17)

  • Anonymous 2015-07-23_15.35.29

Peace be upon you & welcome! I'd love to keep in touch with you so please enter your email address and subscribe! From my heart to yours

Love Maryam Yousaf

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