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faithSalam my dear brothers and sisters. Alhamdulliah for your blog, I am happy
you are using this as a platform to spread Islam and foster peace amongst Muslims
and Non-Muslims. What I am about to share is my story now some of my Muslim sisters
might have experienced this and for some a doubt in faith but I told myself I know
my story will have an impact to many Muslims out there going through the same.
I am a Muslim but my doubt began the moment I fell in love with a Christian. We
started of as friends because we are course mates, though I gave him the cold
shoulder at first I opened up to him later. I remember the good old days when we
laughed never argued about religion or faith because he accepted me
as a Muslim. Time passed, we developed feelings for each other but I did not realise
I was getting myself trapped in the eyes of ardent love. He told me about the future
how he wanted me to start a family with him. As a girl obviously when a guy
tells you how you will travel and pray together you will fall in love with that and
be imagining. Our friendship continued but this time with lots of arguments about
conversion. He bought me a Bible which I accepted without complaining, he is so good
with religious arguments and that scared me because when I brought up something about
Islam he would counter. I told him I love and believe in the original message of
Jesus Christ alayhi salam but he wanted me to accept him as my Lord and Saviour.
I wanted to keep this guy, I didn't want to lose him so I stopped
praying, I stopped going for jummah or reading the Qur'an. I wanted to keep our
endless hangouts and nightcalls going. What I was doing unknowingly was losing my
identity to get loved even my female friends noticed this they adviced me but I did
not listen. I recall the day I attended a Christian Marriage seminar with him but
before I entered a Muslim brother told me for the sake of Allah please don't go but
I said I cannot break his promise. While I was there my mind was at the call of
prayer, I heard but did not obey. This distance between myself and Allah took a toll
on me. I was depressed, anxious and worried about him. I will never forget the 2
nights he told me he was getting frustrated at me because of this conversion, I
cried I saw another person entirely someone different. He always found faults in me
hurting me with painful words. I respected his feelings no matter how angry I was.
Imagine a guy telling you to your face he deleted your number out of annoyance. I was
sad. 
A day before this July, he asked me if I could give my religion for a
relationship with him. I knew my answer will be no but the implication of what I
said will change a lot. He became angry at me, I told me I can be in a relationship
but must I strip off my Identity then he said I must because if he makes Heaven and
I don't because I did not accept Christianity. I felt condemned not by God but by a
guy. He told me it is either I know the truth or I am being selfish. I told him if
he does not want anything to do with me because of my Identity I will be patient. But
now he does not call nor chat with me again sometimes I feel sad I said it but what
pains me most is knowing how someone impacted a lot in you but you did not impact
anything in that person. Now I carry that loneliness with a smile if I cannot impact
in one person I can try to impact Islam and obliterate the misconceptions people
have. I know he has moved on and I became the one forgotten but when I look back to
what I did for friendship and love I cry. Though we did not fornicate but when a guy
you like hugs you zina thoughts floods in. I am not the kind of girl that says that
I love you but this guy made me say it thrice but he only told me once all he says
is I care about you. I was ready to give up Islam to be with him but deep down I
still held on to Allah not wanting to let my desires control me.
I once transgresed from this path because of love he wanted me to make that
sacrifice to be with him. I had to let go of our friendship but sometimes I cry
because of the bond we had. He made me realise and understand things but I wish I
told him the truth. He never believed in the Qur'an and he called Allah a liar, I
was shocked. I feel I was pressured into commitment now look at me. How do i tell
christians that Jesus preached Monotheism not Trinity especially in a world where you 
have preachers everywhere? My prayer is that one day they will accept Islam as the truth 
and one way of life. Moving on from someone you were attached to is difficult but with every 
hardship comes ease. 

Anonymous

Muslimatoday Reminder:

My dear sisters look at the story from above as as example at how easy it is to get trapped in 
a relationship that you had no intention of having. This is the reason boys and girls cannot just
be friends. It seemed so innocent just a non Muslim friend, but because of him this sister nearly 
lost her faith.  It is through the Mercy of Allah He guided her and she did not leave Islam.
Islam is a way of life, you have to trust that there is wisdom and protection in every command of
Allah. Please leave any comments below, share and subscribe. 

 

Peace be upon you & welcome! I'd love to keep in touch with you so please enter your email address and subscribe! From my heart to yours

Love Maryam Yousaf

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