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Ramadan 2014, and the past year in general, has been very life changing for me. Some things I will say for the sake of hopefully benefiting at least someone In Sha Allah.

Prior to that Ramadan, I was nothing but a regular girl captured by the delusions of this world. All that seemed important was beauty, and other dunya matters, astaghfirullah. I say this for the girls (and boys) out there; don’t try to impress anyone but Allah (a reminder to myself too).

But Ramadan came and little by little, I started caring more about my Deen. I would watch shows related to islam, and that inspired me to become better. One night, I decided I would wear the hijab. It was something I used to think about briefly but kept delaying. That night however, I found myself asking: how could I not do something that my Creator commanded me to do? How could I so blatantly disobey my Master? My decision had been made and there was no time to waste; there was no changing my stubborn mind.

It wasn’t an easy mission despite being born to a Muslim family. My parents were against it. My siblings were against it. They said I would waste my future away. Did they not know that my future was al-akhira? Did they not see what I saw? Something beyond this dunya, something beyond death?

Alhamdulillah that I had a friend very dear to my heart that helped me stay strong. I pray that Allah showers her and her family with blessings in the dunya and akhira (Ameen).

After seeing that I was insistent and it wasn’t what they called “a phase”, they began to accept my decision and I started wearing the hijab, although it took a while before I started wearing it the correct way.

SubhanAllah I don’t know how it started but fast forward a little, I began to seek knowledge and reading, and found out many things I did not know, including the fact that wiping the neck during wudu is actually a bid’a (innovation) that I used to sometimes do unknowingly. So I began to correct my wudu. I found that made quite a difference. I started to want to wear a better hijab, skirts instead of skinny jeans, and loose tops.

When I look back now and remember, a lot of the time I just shake my head at how I used to be. I am still imperfect and Allah knows. I still fear I may have darkness in me, I still fear nifaaq (hypocrisy). It’s difficult at times to fight the lack of motivation to do good. Our nafs can truly be an enemy. But alhamdulillah that I’m not where I was. I’m back to truth In Sha Allah. And I plan to stay on the Truth if Allah Wills. May Allah guide us.

Having said that, my story hasn’t ended yet. My story has just begun. I’ve only just started my journey in this dunya as a travelling stranger. Maybe we’ll meet each other at our destination?

Take that one step towards Allah ladies, be strong and persistent, prostrate to Allah sincerely, ask for His guidance and for His love.

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