Everyone wants the best spouse, after all that is only natural. But the problem comes in when we start seeking a spouse based on a person we know, may it be a sister-in-law, cousin-in-law, or a friend’s wife. This is a very unhealthy approach to take. Everybody is unique, they come with their own beauty, personality and attributes. You are being unfair to your future wife from the onset, if you are already comparing her and have a definition of what should be ‘the perfect wife’ based on your perception of others.
Just think for a moment how you would feel, if your wife to be already had marked you against the ‘ideal’ husbands that she is acquainted with. How would you feel if she rated you against the wealth of her friend’s husband, the face of some celebrity or boyband or even worse, her own brother in law who just happens to be the ‘perfect’ everything.
Women are already so insecure about themselves, why put another insecurity on top of her? Why not get to know her based on her unique personality and lifestyle instead of desiring someone else’s qualities, maybe secretly desiring someone else altogether.
And say that you did marry the woman that matched up to your ‘ideal woman’ would you stop comparing even then? I guarantee you brother, you wouldn’t because from the start your relationship and your journey to finding a spouse was based on someone else, you will inevitably find something wrong or to criticise because it never really was about the woman you were going to marry, the woman that would bring happiness to you, unfortunately for you it was always about ‘her’ the woman that you idolised from the start.
So please for your own sake, change your mentality. Don’t look for someone like your brother’s, cousin’s, or your best friend’s wife, instead say Bismillah and give your future wife a chance by being open minded and giving her the chance to bring something unique to your life, something no one else has, her.
Written by: www.MuslimaToday.Com for HalalProposals Follow them on Instagram @shaadibaji a free online Marriage Service.